So since yesterday, April 24th, was Easter, but at 7p I started my first of 25 hours of silence.
So why am I going silent for 25 hours of silence? Well if you have been reading my blog, you will know I am very active with an organization called Invisible Children.
I going silent because of a man whose name is Joseph Kony. He is abducting children and mutilating people. He is forcing the children to become child soldiers and have raping them. He has been doing these atrocities for 25 years. So there's that 25 again, silent for 25 hours for the 25 years this war has been going on.
We, the 1 million plus people participating, are also raising money for the Protection Plan. This Protection Plan is to build radio towers in the isolated villages in Congo, so they have a way to contact other villages of the LRA's location. They will also build a rehabilitation center for these children who were child soldiers and they don't want to go straight home because of the great atrocities they have seen. They are also wanting to put together search and rescue team. So when these children leave the LRA they are someone hundreds of miles away from their homes and this is a way for the teams to find their families.
So I wanted to tell you how my 25 hours have been going so far.... and I am going to be doing this by what I have written in my journal as the day has gone on, just cause you are most likely going to be getting the feeling I was feeling when all of that was happening. And maybe some stories I didn't record, I hope you enjoy it.
"about 10 minutes into my "25" & I can tell its gonna be hard. But I am doing not to bring glory to myself to be (ham check out how much I rock for doing this). Not doing this for the gloryof IC even though they are doing a great job. I am doing this to bring attention to those in Congo who are basically trapped by the LRA and have no war of communicating for help. Lord help me to keep that as a main focus than to myself.
Lord, I was wondering is what the LRA doing to the child soldiers, trafficking? I know it would be when because they doing things against ttheir will. LORD BE WITH THEM."
"I can honestly tell you that I am not gonna know how it really feels to not have any communication but I pray that You (GOD) would igive me some sense of how they feel."
"Right now it's not as bad as what I expected it to be except it makes me wonder. If I were more popular would it make more a difference, probably.
I mean I'm not saying that I want more friends, it'd be nice... maybe... LOL I'm not honestly sure to know what it would mean to know everyone. But I'm definitely OK with that cause I'm not that kind of person to have or mingle with a large group.
God, I pray that you would be with me the next eight hours.
Right now I feel like I would slightly know what it would feel to not have connection with the world. Sitting here in Down Under at Johnson County Community College. I can't talk to people and most of the time I wouldn't unless I knew them and there is no cell service unless I go outside or upstairs. I do feel isolated if an emergency were to happen and only I knew about it. It would be very hard to get people's attention unless I threw things at them, or ran over to tell them on paper. And wonder if they would respond or thought I was a crazy person and ignore me. then I could imagine the cycle going and by the time I'd get to someone that believed me it might be too late. I wish I could ask Laren if that's how they feel. And them I wonder that as soon as I go upstairs I'll get overwhelming texts and get excited that I would be able to tell people a little bit easier about what happened and what is happeneind and what is going to happen.
I bet the Congolese people are estatic when they get a radio tower. Maybe even at first they wont know exactly what to do with this new thing.
Talking, communications, television, the internet, it's all something we in America definitely take advantage of if we have that ability there were should use it for good rather than spreading lies or gossipping. We should use it to spread awareness about the atrocities of the world."
Welll this all that happened in my journal. :) But we also had an Invisible Children Club meeting and it was very very interesting. Cause well I couldn't talk but other people were because they are kind of new and they didn't know about it. So I was able to tell them about it. I love it!
This was my day.... it may be boring, but it has made a big difference in my life and the lives of those in congo. :) since we raised over $1 million.
About to break my silence in 2 and a half hours! You can learn more at Invisible Children's Website and watch a livestream that's going on right now. Maybe watch some Plain White T's, Mumford and Sons, David Archuleta and others. :)
Monday, April 25, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
"Every Captive Free"
Here's the lyrics to Matt Gilman's "Every Captive Free" and after wards I'll be taking stuff from my prayer journal that I wrote about the song and the dream as a parallel in some parts.
God will be BOLD. We are UNDERLINED.
"Every Captive Free" Matt Gilman
For Spirit of the Lord God is upon me
Because He has annointed me to preach good news
Take away all of the sorrows and your mourning
To give the oil of joy and a garmet of praise
For I have seen you in your captivity
And I will open up every prison door
So arise and shine for your light has come
And my glory is rising upon you (repeat)
And I am dancing over you
I am singing over you
Songs of deliverance
And I will set every captive free
And you will be with me (repeat)
I have seen you in your captivity
And I will open up every prison door
So arise and shine for your light has come
And my glory is rising upon you
And I am dancing over you
I am singing over you
Songs of deliverance
And I will set every captive free
And you will be will me
You are mine
I have carried the way of all your iniquities
I've carried the burden of all your shame
I have called you by name
I've called you by name
You are Mine (x3)
My journal comments about the parallel about the song and the dream... and life.
"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me because He has annointed me to preach good news."
- This part sticks out to me because i am about to be leading a study at JCCC.
"Take away all of the sorrow and your mourning, to give the oil of joy and a garmet of praise."
- Just going through this song and comparig it to my dream and now. The craig which normally is a dark room in my dream was so bright. Like so much more joyous and clean like something was lifted, like a burden.
"For Your light has come and My glory is rising upon you."
- The light again in that room and you, I knew your glory was in that room, on that campus cause in my fream I was worshipping you with my arms held high praising you. And your glory was well within me.
"I have carried the way of all your iniquities, I've carried the burden of all your shame."
- I mentioned it earlier, I really feel like that room being bright was like a burden being lifted and that room from what I can remember now full of joy and happiness and praise.
Lord I pray that opening and disecting this song will really be what this dream meant and I pray and hope and pray that this dream was prophectic. That You will use me to preach the good news. Lift up our burdens and our iniquities and replace it with joy and a garmet of praise to worship you.
So I hope you get excited as much as I am every time I listen to this song and/or tell someone about it.
God will be BOLD. We are UNDERLINED.
"Every Captive Free" Matt Gilman
For Spirit of the Lord God is upon me
Because He has annointed me to preach good news
Take away all of the sorrows and your mourning
To give the oil of joy and a garmet of praise
For I have seen you in your captivity
And I will open up every prison door
So arise and shine for your light has come
And my glory is rising upon you (repeat)
And I am dancing over you
I am singing over you
Songs of deliverance
And I will set every captive free
And you will be with me (repeat)
I have seen you in your captivity
And I will open up every prison door
So arise and shine for your light has come
And my glory is rising upon you
And I am dancing over you
I am singing over you
Songs of deliverance
And I will set every captive free
And you will be will me
You are mine
I have carried the way of all your iniquities
I've carried the burden of all your shame
I have called you by name
I've called you by name
You are Mine (x3)
My journal comments about the parallel about the song and the dream... and life.
"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me because He has annointed me to preach good news."
- This part sticks out to me because i am about to be leading a study at JCCC.
"Take away all of the sorrow and your mourning, to give the oil of joy and a garmet of praise."
- Just going through this song and comparig it to my dream and now. The craig which normally is a dark room in my dream was so bright. Like so much more joyous and clean like something was lifted, like a burden.
"For Your light has come and My glory is rising upon you."
- The light again in that room and you, I knew your glory was in that room, on that campus cause in my fream I was worshipping you with my arms held high praising you. And your glory was well within me.
"I have carried the way of all your iniquities, I've carried the burden of all your shame."
- I mentioned it earlier, I really feel like that room being bright was like a burden being lifted and that room from what I can remember now full of joy and happiness and praise.
Lord I pray that opening and disecting this song will really be what this dream meant and I pray and hope and pray that this dream was prophectic. That You will use me to preach the good news. Lift up our burdens and our iniquities and replace it with joy and a garmet of praise to worship you.
So I hope you get excited as much as I am every time I listen to this song and/or tell someone about it.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
"Welcome To JCCC's Student Awakening"
So I had a dream last Friday, March 18, 2011, night. And I absolutely have to tell you about this dream. The amazing part is that I haven't been consciencely been thinking about the out pouring of God's spirit over JCCC is a long time. This is where I want to begin. I can honestly tell you though I don't know what happened at the beginning of the dream, but right before the part I am most excited about I was hanging out with some new friends I had just made at JCCC.
I was walking on "my JCCC campus" (it's mine cause there are parts that look like JCCC and there are parts that I have added to it or maybe they do exist I just haven't been there yet). I remember walking with a group of friends and then I had looked up and saw a sign that said, "GPR" and an arrow going left. Which at the IHOP-KC is the "Global Prayer Room." I remember getting super excited and smiling and jumping and thinking, " Oh my goodness. It can't be it. That's awesome." I followed the arrows and the signs that led me to this room that was reminded me very much of the Craig Auditorium. I remember walking in not seeing Wes, who was the guy that typically led intercession prayers during the Awakening Services at IHOP, but I heard his voice saying, "Welcome to JCCC student awakening." And I looked on stage and to my surprise I saw Matt Gilman on stage smiling. As I looked into the room it was much brighter than the Craig normally is. There wasn't alot of people in there and I well didn't recognize alot of them either. I remember walking in there with my arms raised high praising God for this service and room. As soon as I grabbed my seat Matt started playing "Every Captive Free."
I will post the lyrics of that song soon, but now every time I hear that song it will remind to pray for an outpouring on JCCC or other collge campuses.
I was walking on "my JCCC campus" (it's mine cause there are parts that look like JCCC and there are parts that I have added to it or maybe they do exist I just haven't been there yet). I remember walking with a group of friends and then I had looked up and saw a sign that said, "GPR" and an arrow going left. Which at the IHOP-KC is the "Global Prayer Room." I remember getting super excited and smiling and jumping and thinking, " Oh my goodness. It can't be it. That's awesome." I followed the arrows and the signs that led me to this room that was reminded me very much of the Craig Auditorium. I remember walking in not seeing Wes, who was the guy that typically led intercession prayers during the Awakening Services at IHOP, but I heard his voice saying, "Welcome to JCCC student awakening." And I looked on stage and to my surprise I saw Matt Gilman on stage smiling. As I looked into the room it was much brighter than the Craig normally is. There wasn't alot of people in there and I well didn't recognize alot of them either. I remember walking in there with my arms raised high praising God for this service and room. As soon as I grabbed my seat Matt started playing "Every Captive Free."
I will post the lyrics of that song soon, but now every time I hear that song it will remind to pray for an outpouring on JCCC or other collge campuses.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
I Believe That You Will Come Like The Rain
"I believe that you will come, like the rain.
I believe that you will come like the rain.
You'll come like the rain,
You'll come like the rain."
Ok, so confession time, I have always sang this song knowing that it was a great worship song and I believed that He[God] would come like the rain. I just imagined it being His love covering us, overwhelming us with His love, mercy, grace, and joy. But I never really took time to really know or understand the importance of God coming to us like the rain.
Last night, Friday, March 4, I partook in my friends' prayer meeting at their church. I was not expecting to be moved in such a way, or expected to learn so much. Oh man. That song came on and I prayed it over that prayer room. Then it hit me, I didn't know why it's so important that God comes like the rain. So here's word for word what is written in my journal entry for Friday, March 4th.
"Lord, I pray that You would come like the rain.
Lord I was just wondering what it meant for You to come like the rain. And why it's so important that you come like the rain.
Crops need rain to grow. All rivers and streams are dependent on rain or else a cycle would be dead. Life is dependent on rain or water. Even some cities are dependent on water or rain to survive as a civilization.
If you are like rain then we are like crops that need moisture (your word) to grow. If we are the rivers and streams then we need your rain to keep us flowing Lord. If we arent moving and flwoing the more the stuff in us die out.
Lord this is beautiful. I pray you would come rain in my life. You're so great Lord. Thanks for that revelation in my life. I love it when I understand a new way, a new part of you. Lord you are great. Your love is so high, so deep, so wide that I will seem to never be able to comprehend it or all of you."
Then tonight, March 5th, our teacher just basically reconfirmed all that I just said... except... he pulled Moses into all of this. Remember that story of Moses when he's in the desert and the people are all like, I am so thirsty. The Lord tells Moses to hit that rock with his staff and the water comes out. Now tell me you've never thought that, that story would relate to Jesus... it absolutely does! Whose the rock? Jesus. When the soldiers pierced his side, what came out? Water. What did Jesus tell the lady at the well about? Living water. Our body needs what to survive? It needs water. Jesus is that living water, he is what we need to survive. Woa, right. Oh man! I just love that study.
Next time it rains, maybe you'll think about the Lord coming to us like the rain. I pray that when it does rain, that you would pray for raining over your life or where ever you are at.
I believe that you will come like the rain.
You'll come like the rain,
You'll come like the rain."
Ok, so confession time, I have always sang this song knowing that it was a great worship song and I believed that He[God] would come like the rain. I just imagined it being His love covering us, overwhelming us with His love, mercy, grace, and joy. But I never really took time to really know or understand the importance of God coming to us like the rain.
Last night, Friday, March 4, I partook in my friends' prayer meeting at their church. I was not expecting to be moved in such a way, or expected to learn so much. Oh man. That song came on and I prayed it over that prayer room. Then it hit me, I didn't know why it's so important that God comes like the rain. So here's word for word what is written in my journal entry for Friday, March 4th.
"Lord, I pray that You would come like the rain.
Lord I was just wondering what it meant for You to come like the rain. And why it's so important that you come like the rain.
Crops need rain to grow. All rivers and streams are dependent on rain or else a cycle would be dead. Life is dependent on rain or water. Even some cities are dependent on water or rain to survive as a civilization.
If you are like rain then we are like crops that need moisture (your word) to grow. If we are the rivers and streams then we need your rain to keep us flowing Lord. If we arent moving and flwoing the more the stuff in us die out.
Lord this is beautiful. I pray you would come rain in my life. You're so great Lord. Thanks for that revelation in my life. I love it when I understand a new way, a new part of you. Lord you are great. Your love is so high, so deep, so wide that I will seem to never be able to comprehend it or all of you."
Then tonight, March 5th, our teacher just basically reconfirmed all that I just said... except... he pulled Moses into all of this. Remember that story of Moses when he's in the desert and the people are all like, I am so thirsty. The Lord tells Moses to hit that rock with his staff and the water comes out. Now tell me you've never thought that, that story would relate to Jesus... it absolutely does! Whose the rock? Jesus. When the soldiers pierced his side, what came out? Water. What did Jesus tell the lady at the well about? Living water. Our body needs what to survive? It needs water. Jesus is that living water, he is what we need to survive. Woa, right. Oh man! I just love that study.
Next time it rains, maybe you'll think about the Lord coming to us like the rain. I pray that when it does rain, that you would pray for raining over your life or where ever you are at.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Everyone Has a Story... What's Yours?
So I have a friend that's been bugging to hear my story, my testimony, how God's been working my life.
I literally just read and skimmed through all of the journals I've kept since I have lived in Kansas, and those are the ones I still have. But it's just interesting looking back then and seeing myself now.
Ever since I was little, I had always felt alone or always desired to be apart of the popular crowd, but who hasn't. I had been different at church... instead of being full Korean, I was only half. So it was weird, cause not very many people would talk to me. The only people I ever talked to when I went to a Korean church were the half blooded, or muggles, you could say. So I just desired attention from a young age.
You know to me, I seem to hide how I am feeling deep down. I share my feelings that you could have seen in my everyday life. But I remember even in like 3rd or 4th grade talking to my friends about starting diets with them and how we need to loose weight. You could even say that's when I didn't really think of myself as beautiful. I would look at guys and have crushes on them and you would see it constantly in my journals that I wouldn't talk to them, or I was afraid to confront them because I "knew" they didn't like me back. I didn't think a guy would ever like me that way.
I even remember my parents fighting all the time and I absolutely hated it. Mainly because when I would listen, it was typically about me. Which would bring down my self-esteem even more. I just never thought I was ever good enough for my parents. I always thought they loved my brother so much more than they love me. And they loved his decisions even more.
I think that senior year was so much worse. It was just so stressful, trying to decide on schools... mainly trying to make my parents happy. I felt like what ever decision I was going to make had to make my parents happy. It didn't seem like they liked my ideas. I have my entire life loved volunteering and that's where my heart is. Culinary arts took up so much time and left no time for volunteering I just couldn't handle it. I felt me going to a community college would just disappoint my parents. Senior year just had a dark cloud over my life. I had a little before senior year thought about killing myself. I thought about everything from cutting myself (bleeding myself to death), drowning myself in the tub, overdosing on Tylenol, hanging myself, and other things. I always thought that because I didn't do any of it, it made me a coward.
There were times when I wanted to end my life by crashing my car, but I would have on K-love Radio. I would remember I had a rough day at home and at work, and I was driving home, just thinking about my life and how I hated it. God would come in, I remember pulling onto the on ramp for Lackman from Shawnee Mission Parkway that the song, "How He Loves" by David Crowder Band came on the radio. This song just touched me in a way that no one else could except God.
God's continued to use music in my life.
Even though I lived through all this badness in my life, I can tell you during the highs and lows in my life God was always there. He's the one that asked me, "How would your family and friends feel if you left them?" I have always turned to God. I have had a love and a passion for God, and reaching my lost friends. But the devil had a foothold in my life, and that was my self-esteem and how I looked. He could take that and make me weak.
I go to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. When I went during this time of darkness in my life and would go up for prayer. People would always pray that I am Hephzibah, and I am beautiful. I can honestly tell you that when I would go up for prayer for something else they would pray this over me in my life.
I can tell you honestly that I have some of these thoughts everyone once in a while, but definitely not as often as I did. I praise God for that. I have renounced the spirit of low self-esteem and depression to leave me. I look at my life and I see that so much more happier than I was then. I have so much joy, cause I AM HEPHZIBAH! The LORD does delight in me. I am beautiful. Even if my earthly parents aren't proud of me, I know that there is a heavenly Father that cares about every thing and where my passions lie.
This is my story, and it still continues. What's your story?
I literally just read and skimmed through all of the journals I've kept since I have lived in Kansas, and those are the ones I still have. But it's just interesting looking back then and seeing myself now.
Ever since I was little, I had always felt alone or always desired to be apart of the popular crowd, but who hasn't. I had been different at church... instead of being full Korean, I was only half. So it was weird, cause not very many people would talk to me. The only people I ever talked to when I went to a Korean church were the half blooded, or muggles, you could say. So I just desired attention from a young age.
You know to me, I seem to hide how I am feeling deep down. I share my feelings that you could have seen in my everyday life. But I remember even in like 3rd or 4th grade talking to my friends about starting diets with them and how we need to loose weight. You could even say that's when I didn't really think of myself as beautiful. I would look at guys and have crushes on them and you would see it constantly in my journals that I wouldn't talk to them, or I was afraid to confront them because I "knew" they didn't like me back. I didn't think a guy would ever like me that way.
I even remember my parents fighting all the time and I absolutely hated it. Mainly because when I would listen, it was typically about me. Which would bring down my self-esteem even more. I just never thought I was ever good enough for my parents. I always thought they loved my brother so much more than they love me. And they loved his decisions even more.
I think that senior year was so much worse. It was just so stressful, trying to decide on schools... mainly trying to make my parents happy. I felt like what ever decision I was going to make had to make my parents happy. It didn't seem like they liked my ideas. I have my entire life loved volunteering and that's where my heart is. Culinary arts took up so much time and left no time for volunteering I just couldn't handle it. I felt me going to a community college would just disappoint my parents. Senior year just had a dark cloud over my life. I had a little before senior year thought about killing myself. I thought about everything from cutting myself (bleeding myself to death), drowning myself in the tub, overdosing on Tylenol, hanging myself, and other things. I always thought that because I didn't do any of it, it made me a coward.
There were times when I wanted to end my life by crashing my car, but I would have on K-love Radio. I would remember I had a rough day at home and at work, and I was driving home, just thinking about my life and how I hated it. God would come in, I remember pulling onto the on ramp for Lackman from Shawnee Mission Parkway that the song, "How He Loves" by David Crowder Band came on the radio. This song just touched me in a way that no one else could except God.
God's continued to use music in my life.
Even though I lived through all this badness in my life, I can tell you during the highs and lows in my life God was always there. He's the one that asked me, "How would your family and friends feel if you left them?" I have always turned to God. I have had a love and a passion for God, and reaching my lost friends. But the devil had a foothold in my life, and that was my self-esteem and how I looked. He could take that and make me weak.
I go to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. When I went during this time of darkness in my life and would go up for prayer. People would always pray that I am Hephzibah, and I am beautiful. I can honestly tell you that when I would go up for prayer for something else they would pray this over me in my life.
I can tell you honestly that I have some of these thoughts everyone once in a while, but definitely not as often as I did. I praise God for that. I have renounced the spirit of low self-esteem and depression to leave me. I look at my life and I see that so much more happier than I was then. I have so much joy, cause I AM HEPHZIBAH! The LORD does delight in me. I am beautiful. Even if my earthly parents aren't proud of me, I know that there is a heavenly Father that cares about every thing and where my passions lie.
This is my story, and it still continues. What's your story?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)