Lately, I have been surrounding myself around some pretty awesome Christians and then some who are just either starting off and don't know where they are going, or those who have been Christians their entire life and are starting to slowly fade away from God. Hanging around these people, I have been starting to wonder, where am I with my relationship with God? What do I have to offer Him? What am I really thankful for? And when I think of the answers for these things, this is how I feel...
I feel I am slowly fading away from God. I have been a Christian for basically my entire life, ever since I was like 7 or 9 years old. So, I know the Sunday School answers. I know the typical Bible verses like, "For God so loved the world..," "I know the plans for you declares the Lord." And just right now that doesn't feel like it's enough.
I have these great friends, when we talk, they say like "In my little Bible study time this morning this is what I learned blah, blah, blah." It makes me think. It makes me wonder. Why am I not doing this? If I say I want to learn more and I want to know the answers to the difficult questions in life. WHY don't I take that 5, 10, 20, 30, or even an hour out of my day to study God's word.
I pray, yes I pray. I pray alot. I love to pray. I love talking to God. Maybe not out loud and in front of people, but I love to pray.
But that's not enough in a Christian's walk isn't it? NO!!!
I know praying is good. But if you have thoughts or questions, I know going through God's Word will sometimes answer those prayer requests, the questions I ask God. So here's my question...
What is going to make me want to wake up in the morning and pull out my Bible and start reading?
What it going to make me like my friend, Dulce, thank God for the blessing of living another day? Cause I don't honestly do that...
What is going to make me like the lady TobyMac talked about on Air1 Radio on the City on Our Knees clip? To my goals for the day, her goals of her day...
1. Thanking God for waking to another day.
2. Asking God where He's already working.
3. Participating in where He's already working
I look at my life... I may be being too harsh on myself. I just don't see a Christian. Yes, I am a Christian. I accepted Christ into my life. I pray. I go to church almost every opportunity. I listen to Christian music. I sometimes read the Bible, I should be reading it more. I just don't feel like I am living the way Christ did on this earth. Is that fair to say? I don't know.
What's bringing this on in my life? I think God.
I think God is waking me up for the first time in many months saying that Laura, you really need to get into My Word. I don't want another Bible study where you'll stay quiet, but maybe with a friend, who you feel comfortable talking to and asking questions and keeping each other accountable... Laura, you've never had that. You need it. Even if it means actually waking up early and meeting with someone at a coffeeshop or something, you need someone.
And all of this. Its true. If I don't have someone, if you don't have someone, counting you accountable for getting into God's word then will you be lucky like me and have the certain friends, and certain events to take place for God to shake you and wake you up saying you can't just pray... You NEED to get into My Word.
