Trust and Answered Prayers

I know I just blogged today, but I really need to say this.

Can I praise God? He's been working my family. I am already seeing a change that I told my parents I saw coming. I notice that they are seeing the change as well, which is making things a little less awkward and scared to talk to them about things we should be talking about as a family. Like my education, job, taxes, etc. I mean there are times when we are still getting angry over little things, and still feel like we need to learn to be slow to anger. But the Lord is working in our lives and our relationships and I praise Him for that. It's a big step to see this family semi-getting along. Praise God!

His banner of me is love. Praise to His wonderful name.

Now I want to praise God for allowing my earthly parents allow me to get the Graphic Design AAS at JCCC. It really really means a lot to me, cause they have always turned down art as a career. But I think Mikeschair helped that. My talents been developing over the years and now it's gonna be excitingly awesome. I praise God for all the networking I have already done when it comes to design, through friends in the business already, and through bands I have given designs to like Rush of Fools, Me in Motion, and Mikeschair. I would love to see my work out there, and seeing people wearing my shirts would be so awesome. What ever the Lord has in store for me and my talent is all that matters and I am excited.

If you remember me. Would you pray that I can find a new job or second job to help pay for school, hopefully starting this summer semester.

Thanks in advance for all your prayers.

Going Back to School

So I haven't been in school for about a semester, gonna be a year at the end of this semester. I just feel, the break was nice and very much needed for me. Now I feel like I need to go back to school.

So, I think I wrote in one of my past blogs about how I talked to a older gentleman at the OneThing Conference 2010, and how I have a passion and I don't want to go to school, cause I want to do all these things. He brought up a good point that I need to develop the talents God's given me. I have a passion for justice for children, art, and music. I would love to be able to combine all three.

I don't know, but I have grown so much when it comes to designing shirts. I remember the first design I've ever done and well it was pretty, I mean yes it was on Paint, but I have done ones later on that were pretty decent.

I just feel like this would be an awesome career or path for me. I am constantly doodling, and sketching and wanting to see these ideas become a reality. And how is that going to happen if I don't have the right training and critics in my life to tell me how to make this better. All I have right now is, "that looks nice," or "I don't really like it, but I'm not sure how you can change it." I feel like that's what I need. I need discipline.

The two places that I want to work for: Invisible Children and TOMS.

Looking at TOMS website in the intern or "agents of change" tab they "look for TOMS advocates who are passionate about the One for One movement and have proven success in college."

And right now if they were to look at my college success, it wouldn't be too pretty. Not a lot of success. But I think that's because I was doing what my parents wanted me to do, and I need to be doing what I want to be doing, and I think that's graphic design, and possibly communications in the future. I have a creative mind and well, I can't sit in a classroom all day where my creativity isn't challenged at least once.

Well... I know this "going back to school" is what God wants me to do. Even though communications is great, I think I will always have art on my side and God's given me that talent for a reason. Now it's just time to develop this talent.

Time to talk, hopefully talk, to my parents about my decision, and if they are up for it then hopefully I'll start in the summer. If that's the case then Invisible Children's San Diego Summit is out of the question, no matter how much I would love to go. I need to start making sacrifices, no matter how much I would love to do something else.

Wish me luck.

Even Though COMFORT Feels Great, Is Too Much Bad?

One thing that's been on my mind and even my heart lately has been this issue of COMFORT.

Yeah it's nice to feel comfortable for a while, but is it good to feel too much comfort?

I personally think so, or maybe that's something God's been teaching me. I have been at Central Church of the Nazarene for about seven years... is that a long time? I don't know for some people it isn't, but for me it feels as if it does. I am a Military Brat and so I have moved alot, well... not as much as I could have. But I've moved enough that ten years in one place is a long time.

Don't get me wrong, I love my church. The people there. But why do I feel a need for change? I feel almost too comfortable. I am really active at my church, but I just don't feel challenged or convicted enough, or like that we aren't talking about things that's been on my heart. Like the book of Revelation. I hear so much about end times and now realizing that I don't know a lot about it myself. I feel like I should know more. How else can I be prepared for the second coming of Jesus, Yeshua. I mean if He were to come tomorrow, even tonight, how would I know. I mean yes, no one knows the exact time of Christ's arrival back to earth, but I feel I should know what's been happening.

But that's another topic for another time when I read the book, I'll be sure to keep you in the loop.

But is comfort bad? I think so... maybe... at least I think I do, what do you think.

OneThing I Desire Is You God

During December 28 through December 31, I attended the OneThing 2010 conference that was put on by the International House of Prayer - KC or IHOP. I think I was excited to go cause I thought it was going to be like the Awakening Services that happened from November of 2009 to October of 2010.

I feel like I need to tell you what happened during the Awakening Services at IHOP to really know why I wanted it to be like that. In November 2009, in one of the IHOPU classes the Holy Spirit broke out. It wasn't like anything I'd ever experienced before. I mean I wasn't at the class when it happened, but I have been to the Awakening Services. The Spirit broke out every night they had this service. Which was 4 days a week, 6 hours a night. So much joy broke over the nights! Miracles, healings, happened... I learned last night that over 7,000 healings happened in an 11 month period. WOW, praise God! Not only that but 17,000 people were baptised during that time as well. Amazing right! I am still so estatic about those numbers. Many people from around the world were watching over webcast. I was definitely one of those when the weather was bad or I didn't have enough gas. You just had to be there. The place was just filled and you could tell.

Now with all this excitement around the Awakening services, you can kind of understand why I was wanting it to be like that. But...

I was wrong. OneThing was nothing like the Awakening Services. I mean yes there were similarities, but it was definitely not the same.

I loved this week sooo much. There was amazing worship, meeting awesome people, and helping out... hey! I can't go to an event really without helping.

Tuesday, Day 1:
Now Misty Edwards was leading worship all day Tuesday, during both sessions. Her sounds are so raw, and annoited. It's just like you are singing to God Himself, or He's singing to you. It's great.

Even though I am an extreme sucker for worship, this day the message grabbed my heart. Corey was speaking about the laziness of this generation. I mean, I've heard it before so I thought ok, I am gonna listen but mainly ignore most of it. But God wouldn't let that happen. As he was speaking about the laziness he pulled out many verses from Proverbs about laziness(Proverbs 6:6-11; 12:11; 13:4; 13:23; 19:15; 20:13). Out of all the verses he pulled out, the last one caught my attention: "Don't love sleep, or you will become poor. Stay awake, and you will have more food than you need." Wow right? He not only brought attention to all these verses, he challenged us to go to bed at 10p, cause anything after 10p or later if you're not doing to benefit God, your spirit is weak and can easily do things it shouldn't. Then waking up at like 6 or 7a. When I heard this I was going crazy! I was like I love sleep, but I don't want to be poor! Wake up at 6a!!! I usually sleep in til 10a - 11a. I know right. But it was just so convicting. And he said your spirit may be awake to what God wants, but are you? Are you ready to make sacrafices to do the will of God? Basically, Your Spirit may be awake, are you?

So convicting I did it the next morning. And my God rocks, I was so awake. It's been too long since I've felt this awake. I was just so refreshed and excited about what God was going to that day.

Wednesday, Day 2:
Day two of the conference and day two of helping at the Forerunner Music table. At this table I was volunteering with an older gentleman by the name of Tom. We were talking and I started talking about how I feel God's given me this passion, this burning passion for justice for children around the world. That's all I want to do. He said woa hold up. I know what you mean, it's great to have a passion, but you need to develope that gift God's given you. He went through a similar situation. He felt God call him into ministry, but he had a fire in his heart for God and didn't want to go to school because he was worried Jesus would come while he was in school. Then he had a similar conversation and a mentor told him that because is taking the time to develope this talent God's given him and if Jesus did come while he was in school, Jesus would reward him for taking the time to develope his God-given talent to better the kingdom.

Then I thought ok, so it's like a bread dough. If you just mix the ingredients and then bake it in the oven you are going to have a very dense loaf. But if you knead the bread dough just enoough at it's peak and where it's the best developed then you bake it, it's going to be nice a soft loaf. That's what we want.

It made perfect sense to me now. I needed to go back to school, now the real question is for what? Communications or Design, or maybe something completely different. It was also great to be talking to someone who isn't going to biased between my parents or I, but is coming from the interest of God.

Thusday. Day 3:
You know I don't know if I really learned anything this day. But instead of writing about nothing, I'll give you parts of the worship song we sang that got me really excited enough to write it down.

"Let me love you more, this is all I desire
Let me love you more, this is all I require
Let me love you more, this is my deepest heart's desire
Let me love you more, still more, still more"
- Jaye Tomas
Friday, Day 4:
The start of this day was bad, getting ready to leave for "work" and I find out I have a flat tire. I borrow my parents car and go to work to realize that I wasn't even suppose to come in til 3p. On the way there I am just so upset and sad cause I can't go to the last service, the New Years Eve Service. I had been looking forward to this night since I registered and now I couldn't go.

Then on the way home from the mistake of showing up at work early, I was listening to OneThing 2009 and what song but "Whom the Son Sets Free." Yes I love this song. It's so true. I was in my car shaking my hands to the song. Shaking off the chains of grief and sadness, and in the song Cory Asbury says "DEPRESSION IS GONE!!!" I mean no I wasn't depressed but I was just disappointed in the day so far. But as soon as he said that I was filled with joy and started laughing, realizing there was no reason to be upset.

Then I get home and I tell my dad about the amazing revelations I have had this week. I want things to change. He doesn't believe me, but I think deep down he knows I've changed for the best.

I praise God, my dad bought me a new tire. Then on the car ride home, I tell him more about what's been going on.

But I just learned from this experience that I need to trust God's plan everyday. Things happen for a reason and God knows the end task. I need to trust just as I would if I were going on a mission trip.

Oh Lord, 2011 is going to be great. I really see joy in my family this year. I pray to God that it would happen.

Basically I was able to make it to the service! I prayed for people, people prayed for me. I meditated and waited on the Lord for a while. Danced for like hours. As I was meditating on the Lord last night, I kept seeing Prayer Warrior in my mind. I also felt a desire in my heart to see visions and dreams or at least an understanding of God more. Then some lady came and prayed over me and she said the Lord told her to come pray for me, and that I was waiting paciently and He delights in my pacience waiting on the Lord. It made smile inside and out.

As I texted my friend this morning about what happened about how I felt like God calling me to be a Prayer Warrior, she said Laura you're already a prayer warrior. Then I told her, well maybe God's wanting me to take the next step in prayer, which I am not sure what that is, but I am definitely waiting to hear what that is going to be.

I am so excited for this new year. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me. I can't wait to see what I am going to learn while reading through the Bible twice hopefully.

May God bless your year.

Taking a Step Back...

Lately, I have been surrounding myself around some pretty awesome Christians and then some who are just either starting off and don't know where they are going, or those who have been Christians their entire life and are starting to slowly fade away from God. Hanging around these people, I have been starting to wonder, where am I with my relationship with God? What do I have to offer Him? What am I really thankful for? And when I think of the answers for these things, this is how I feel...

I feel I am slowly fading away from God. I have been a Christian for basically my entire life, ever since I was like 7 or 9 years old. So, I know the Sunday School answers. I know the typical Bible verses like, "For God so loved the world..," "I know the plans for you declares the Lord." And just right now that doesn't feel like it's enough.

I have these great friends, when we talk, they say like "In my little Bible study time this morning this is what I learned blah, blah, blah." It makes me think. It makes me wonder. Why am I not doing this? If I say I want to learn more and I want to know the answers to the difficult questions in life. WHY don't I take that 5, 10, 20, 30, or even an hour out of my day to study God's word.

I pray, yes I pray. I pray alot. I love to pray. I love talking to God. Maybe not out loud and in front of people, but I love to pray.

But that's not enough in a Christian's walk isn't it? NO!!!

I know praying is good. But if you have thoughts or questions, I know going through God's Word will sometimes answer those prayer requests, the questions I ask God. So here's my question...

What is going to make me want to wake up in the morning and pull out my Bible and start reading?

What it going to make me like my friend, Dulce, thank God for the blessing of living another day? Cause I don't honestly do that...

What is going to make me like the lady TobyMac talked about on Air1 Radio on the City on Our Knees clip? To my goals for the day, her goals of her day...
     1. Thanking God for waking to another day.
     2. Asking God where He's already working.
     3. Participating in where He's already working

I look at my life... I may be being too harsh on myself. I just don't see a Christian. Yes, I am  a Christian. I accepted Christ into my life. I pray. I go to church almost every opportunity. I listen to Christian music. I sometimes read the Bible, I should be reading it more. I just don't feel like I am living the way Christ did on this earth. Is that fair to say? I don't know.

What's bringing this on in my life? I think God.

I think God is waking me up for the first time in many months saying that Laura, you really need to get into My Word. I don't want another Bible study where you'll stay quiet, but maybe with a friend, who you feel comfortable talking to and asking questions and keeping each other accountable... Laura, you've never had that. You need it. Even if it means actually waking up early and meeting with someone at a coffeeshop or something, you need someone.

And all of this. Its true. If I don't have someone, if you don't have someone, counting you accountable for getting into God's word then will you be lucky like me and have the certain friends, and certain events to take place for God to shake you and wake you up saying you can't just pray... You NEED to get into My Word.